No not me and a Lizzard, me and an IZZARD

Well, if you don't recognize him without his make-up, I'll just tell you right now this is the world's funniest man- Eddie Izzard. Does stand-up in 5 languages (not at the same time).
He's the one on the left. The one that is obviously secretly in love with me.

The "executive transvestite," as he calls himself, has gone sans make-up just to look good for me. Or because he doesn't wear make-up in his act anymore. Which is a shame because the eyeliner really brought out his baby blues, and I could have used a few beauty tips.

My goal was to one day meet Eddie -- he'd take one look into my eyes and we would instantly marry and have many, many baby executive transvestites together. Instead I traded my "Grumpy" hat that his manager wanted in exchange for backstage time with Eddie after his concert, and we shared a drink and a few laughs.

What happened? He was supposed to fall madly in love. Maybe this will just take more time. One day he will be leaning back in his comfy chair watching my show "Ms. Adventure" on Animal Planet and he'll see me kissing an elephant and think "that could have been me." Or "Why is she kissing an elephant?"